I saw that cartoon movie “Bolt” where John Travolta plays a dog. It’s pretty good for a non-Pixar. I’m surprised that Randy Newman did the soundtrack and that he’s just re-hashing his old stuff.
The main song is “You’ve Got a Friend in Heat.”
Posts tagged Jokes
Overheard from U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson
U.S. Representative Joe Wilson, as a character who can only speak in 2 word outbursts that rhyme with “you lie!”
- Demeaning a short colleague : “Small fry!”
- Pointing at recent hire: “New guy!”
- Ordering from Dollar Menu : “Small fry!”
- Asked if he was serious about going for Chicken and Waffles: “No jive!”
- Reflecting on quick passing of summer: “Time flies!”
- Asked if admitted being a goddamn asshole: “Deny!”
- Demanding a second-draft from an aide: “Re-try!”
- Planning a formal event honoring Strom Thurmond: “Black tie!”
- Asked if Obama measured up to G.W. Bush: “Far cry!”
- Letting friends know of his Gamecock watching party: “Drop by!”
- When aides leaving to get tea from SBX: “No Chai!”
- Asked if he’s had trysts in exotic locations, as Gov. Sanford does: “Shanghai!”
- Greeting wife at birthday party: “Surprise!”
- Ordering lunch at Capitol Diner: “Mince pie!”
- Demanding his laundry be done: “Wash Dry!”
- Asking for help removing shoes: “Un-tie!”
- Deterring a kid from pissing in the pool: “Red dye!”
You can add to the list with comments.
I Like How …
Note: This is a new series of comedic bits. My agent Ben insisted that I use a format that can be understood by the popular (and coveted!) demographic. Ben believes this could be my ticket to “Foxworthy-fame and Foxworthy fortune.”
I like how … anti-globalization zealots never go after the Harlem Globetrotters.
I like how … poor people ride their bicycles against traffic.
I like how … former candidates for the Democratic presidential nomination have joined forces to form a new administration.
I like how … they make fabric softener but not butter softener.
I like how … the Statue of Liberty used to be in New York and now it’s in New Jersey.
Updated: July 20, 2009
You can see more recent “I Like Hows” by following the Twitter user: i_like_how
An Exotic City
Some Chiefs of Staff are more capable than others. Don’t count the top aide for South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford among the best. That press conference should have been delayed and rehearsed. Perhaps even scripted! Sanford needed a ‘Checkers’ speech not an “I’m Deeply Distraught” speech.
Oh, but it contained so much! I especially liked the off-hand, irrelevant note about how he and his friend called his boy’s room “Jurassic Park” because of the dinosaur sheets and that “all kinds of people stayed over (during the campaign).” Did the Argentina chica crash there? How did he meet her? He mentioned that it started on email… but how? AregentiaChicas.com?
But I’m less concerned about the ‘other woman’ than I am about… the woman who stood behind this man during the press conference. She does exhibit a sense of humor; she and her colleague are laughing throughout the 10 minute spectacle. Say: maybe whoever is in charge of these things should have prevented random folks to stand BEHIND the podium. Oh geez. So much material. What a sad story.
Above is a still photo from the video. I don’t think the 2 women are going to need an apology. Sanford can skip them on his Repentance Tour.
Check out the MSNBC video of the entire press conference.
Medical Univ. of S. Carolina Possible Slogans or Things Overhead at MUSC
- One of the top teaching hopitals in the country.
- We’ve come a long way from the leech bleedings of the 1970s.
- Why yes that is duct tape.
- No such thing as bad student, only unfeeling, incompetent teachers.
- Largest morgue in the Carolinas.
- God works in mysterious ways.
- We ‘preciate that your ‘surance money is underwritin’ all this learnin.’
- Mort Sahl was a highly regarded comedian. So, what’s not funny about our mortality rate?
- See them in heaven!
- Holy Shit! You have got to try the fried chicken in the cafeteria.
- Flying in family? We recommend US Airways.
- Would you rather be in Iran?
- Many of the overweight jackasses smoking cigarettes in the courtyard out front will have no direct impact on your treatment.
- We’re HUGE fans of LOST.
- If you were completely honest, you’d admit you’ve had your eyes on other women.
- Hey, can you hold this for a minute?
- I know this is an important decision. Don’t mind Kip and Allison. Someday they will be a doctor too.
- Maybe we’ll get some stimulus money. Yeah, that should help.
- Come for surgery, stay for the infections.