This Email I came across explains what a lot of people feel when watching NFL games on CBS ::

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Dear Angelina,

You wanted to know why I was so nervous Monday. It is because of CBS’s coverage of the AFC title game. It made me so nervous! No, no, my dear Angelina, I did not wager money on the game! And although the Colt’s comeback against the Pats included many thrilling catches and tackles, it was the time between the plays that turned my knuckles white and put me on a rocky, windswept ledge .. from which I’ve only today come down! CBS shows the descending “Play Clock” before each down. If the offense fails to start the play before the clock hits Zero, then the Referees Stop the Play from happening, and penalize the offense Five Yards, for Delaying the Game. (Yes, I’m aware that it is the refs who are far more guilty of delaying the game, but that is another matter). Thus, each down is preceded by a frantic race against time. But it is only I who am frantic; the quarterback, who is responsible for requesting and receiving the ball from his center via a “snap”, remains calm as Weldon Lake that morning we went canoing last August. It is as if Peyton and Tom don’t see the clock, but they must see it, for each of them starts the play Just in Time! Meanwhile, I would be chewing my nails, awaiting an inevitable late-start…already counting off the extra five yards, and wondering how the team would overcome the extra distance to obtain a new first down.

Oh gosh, Angelina. That is why I did not want to see you Sunday night. Because I didn’t want YOU to SEE me. I was so nervous! Every play it was “Defcom Five” before the ball was snapped. Want to take a guess how much Coors Light I put away that night? Thirty cans. One full 30-pack during the game. One full 30-pack since.. Angelina, Angelina, Angelina: don’t worry. I could not sleep, and I ate quite a bit (that Eggplant hero you left in the fridge is gonzo, ty:) so I was not “out of control.” Just nervous, but the beer helped. I logged in sick Monday, and yesterday morning I went to see Doctor Lowestitz and he gave me some pills to calm my nerves. And he gave me some pills that stop me from seeing the Clock all the time, and hearing the Tick, Tick, Ticking (Funny: during the games, it doesn’t tick, but in my head it ticks so Loud!)

Good news: this weekend there is no game on CBS; no game at all. So I will take you to the museum (we can make a “night” of it; get it?). Also I am going to call my cousin Mike who works with someone whose wife works at CBS. I am going to request that they remove the Play Clock. Because Angelina; the Sunday after next? The Super Bowl? It’s going to be broadcast by CBS!

Yours,
Barry