Two slices is the norm for pizza meals. I don’t recall the last time I ‘overdid it’ by having more than two slices. A popular scenario is the “One Heavy/One Steady” slice combination: in which you purchase two slices;one has toppings, the other is plain. Which slice to eat first? Consider the case where the topping slice appeals to you more than the cheese slice. In such a scenario, you could apply the theory of Prolonged Anticipation, where the thought of the unconsumed is valued over its actual consumption. So long as that preferrd slice is not gone, then one is happy. The closer that Preferred slice is to being gone, the less happy one becomes. Thus, the topping slice is set aside to be eaten Last.

Another Camp would ‘defer the preferred,’ but for a different reason–as a reward, or ‘dessert.’ This camp is aligned with Puritanical, Christian values. I belong to the ‘Doomsday’ aka ‘Seize the Day’ Camp:: I eat the slice that I prefer First, because of the threat of a heart or terrorist attack. If the shit hits the fan, I want to have consumed the slice which would make me most happy. If you put off the happy slice, and then a bomb hits, then you will not have gotten to the second slice…

What about the scenario in which you do not value the topping slice to be greater than the plain slice? Er, let’s consider that another time. But you might want to ask: what the hell were you thinking when you bought the slices? Saidism? Well…indeed. I believe the biggest reason for the “Steady/Heavy” is to limit calories, whether because of appetite size or weight-gain monitoring. And in the pizza parlor industry, calories are directly proportional to price. Thus another reason for Steady/Heavy is to reduce the dollar cost of the meal. Whether to limit calories or lower the bill, it is rational for a person to conclude that Steady/Heavy is what she can ‘afford.’ Which brings us to the old “Diet Coke joke.”

Gotta go–my slices are ready! The photo in this post, is of me honoring New York pizza eaters who really make a show of how great they are at eating slices.